can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
