when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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