im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
