Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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