Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
