there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
