you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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