I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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