Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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