mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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