I just saw a hot homeless man
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
