Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
