If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
