hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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