i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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