Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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