ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
