i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize