Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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