hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
well you can't waste a boner
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
