If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
