Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do vagina's smell?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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