maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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