Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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