And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
