and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
