Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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