A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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