DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
