no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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