She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
