yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
