Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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