I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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