no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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