i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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