shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
