the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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