East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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