I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
