Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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