Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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