There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
