The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
