i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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