yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
