You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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