Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
should my penis look like a turkey
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
