Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
