i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
