I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
