Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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