that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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