I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
