"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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