I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
