i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We are all done wearing pants today
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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