Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
