Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
