I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
