You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
