i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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