You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
