just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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