Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
