I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
