im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
