idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
